How These Activities Have Helped Other Couples

Advice From People In Long Distance Relationships

Long Distance Couples
Home Page

20 Activities that Long
Distance Couples can do
from a Distance

What do you do to stay close emotionally when you are so far away from each other physically?

We talk on the phone every day and share the happenings of that day, discussing reactions to and decisions made about events as they occur and supporting each other verbally. We also share week-long plans that contribute to feeling part of each other's life. Messages are also exchanged to and from those people known to us on the different continents.
E mails communicate immediate thoughts, and I send unexpected, relevant and meaningful gifts. He sends me flowers - beautiful flowers (to my office). I also make and send tapes of music that "speak" and support my feelings. It's important to reminisce and remember special, happy and specific times
when you were together - it creates a bond and cements feelings. I'm learning to play Bridge because he plays (well) so he helps me with my homework and supports my learning. I support and encourage his Karate, Sailing and Marathon running activities.

What are some of the problems you have encountered in being in a long distance relationship? How have you overcome them?

The most difficult part for me is being apart over long Bank Holiday weekends when, traditionally, family and friends gather together to enjoy quality time. Alone, I fill my time by keeping busy - maintaining the house, gardening, sewing, swimming, theater - but missed opportunity inevitably creeps all over me as the "lonesome" feeling one gets at not being able to share what could have been a highly enjoyable and relaxing weekend kicks in. This makes one more conscious of time, and to value it more highly whenever you're together - every day is a gift and it's important to enjoy the moment.

For a long distance relationship to survive there has to be trust - in bucketfulls. There are times when one of us is not able to reach the other on the telephone and, when voice mail kicks in when you expect the phone to be answered, it is possible to wonder where and with whom the recipient of your affections is. On a bad day, it is possible for paranoia to set in but
if you ultimately trust one another these feelings should not escalate.

What advice would you give to your best friend if he or she was about to enter a long distance relationship.

I would ask her (or him) why they were contemplating doing such a thing and make a judgement on their reply before giving my view. There are many reasons why people opt for, or find themselves in, LDRs but for them to remain successful there has to be chemistry and both individuals must want it to work. Having a LDR is less of a commitment (or conversely more!) so
it is important that both parties are reasonably independent, wellorganized, have their own circle of friends and hobbies and exercise PMA (positive mental attitude).

If too many pieces of the puzzle don't fit, however, move on and don't give yourself a hard time. Ultimately, if your inner voice tells you it's worth maintaining and fighting for because you've found something special, nurture it and make it a reality - the best things are always hard fought.

Best regards

Gillian What do you do to stay close emotionally when you are so far away from each other physically?

I put his pictures in frames and place them near my bed where I could see so he's the last person I see before I turn in and the first person I see when I start the day. We write and send cards every week, usually with recent photos. We answer "all" of each other's e-mails and electronic greeting cards.

I made a journal and write him whenever I feel like telling him what I feel but just couldn't call him. He calls me twice a week, especially on our anniversary date (monthly) and we give updates on each other and talk about sweet things.We chat online whenever possible.

What are some of the problems you have encountered in being in a long distance relationship? How have you overcome them?

Problem: We wanted to talk for hours but it's expensive and impractical.
Solution: We used other means of communication, like e-mail and chat.

Problem: Time difference between USA and Philippines
Solution: We set a convenient time (for both of us) to talk.

Problem: He has no mobile phone.
Solution: He gave me all the home numbers I could call and leave messages for him, and he always returns my calls.

Problem: Lack of physical ways to show love and affection.
Solution: We would describe our thoughts in words and tell each other.

What advice would you give to your best friend if he or she was about to enter a long distance relationship.

First of all, she should know what she's getting into because it's not an easy thing to be in a long-distance relationship. It takes a lot of patience, understanding and trust. However, it can also be a gauge to your true
feelings for each other, especially if you had been used to being around each other all the time. If it lasts and the feeling continues to grow, then it's true love. But if it becomes "out of sight, out of mind," then it's only infatuation. Long-distance relationships can make you, or break you.

Maria

What do you do to stay close emotionally when you are so far away from each other physically?

We comment on how special each other is and what we would do for each other if we were together. Plan a perfect romantic dinner and tell her the things I love about her. Let her into my life and share my emotions, the bad times and good times. Anything that will bring us more emotionally together, open your heart to her and be honest.

What are some of the problems you have encountered in being in a lon distance relationship? How have you overcome them?

The feeling on having to be perfect because if someone gets mad you can't just drive down and fix it face to face but you have to talk it over and have a clear communication. We love each other because of who we are. The love is strong because the communication is strong. If she doubts or has any questions about our relationship, she knows to ask, if not, it will
affect our relationship. (same with me) We find that we have an advantage over the regular kind of relationships, we talk and we practice trust. The physical part doesn't hold us together but it's
the communication.

What advice would you give to your best friend if he or she was about to enter a long distance relationship.

Be careful, be sure to know who he/she is and be patient. No cybersex because it won't be real, it'll only be a fantasy. Be honest and expect that it might not work.

Andy What do you do to stay close emotionally when you are so far away from each other physically?

Send pictures, care packages, cards, letters, unexpected surprises, and daily phone calls. Keeping connected with communication is a key part to staying emotionally connected.

What are some of the problems you hav encountered in being in a long distance relationship? How have you overcome them?

He didn't call/write/ send anything for our two year (dating) anniversary. And he hadn't been keeping in touch like he used to. I had to tell him that I didn't feel like he was doing him part and putting in the effort that I deserved. He agreed and now tries to call every day.

Also, my boyfriend went in to the Marine Corp and it was hard to get used to military life and understand what he talks about. I learned as much as I could about the Marine Corp and ask him questions about his job so I still feel connected.

Also, some people discouraged us in staying together, saying that it was hopeless to pursue a relationship that would eventually end. It was tough to choke that stuff down, but only you know if you are going to be able to handle a ldr, so we didn't listen to them.. and we have been in a ldr for a year now.

What advice would you give to your best friend if he or she was about to enter a long distance relationship.

It takes a lot more work than a normal relationship. It will test your love (not the feelings of love, but the commitment of love) for each other. You need a lot of trust, commitment, and faith in each other. Choose your fights. Since you are long distance it isn't a good idea to argue about the stupid things. Don't wine about how much you miss each other, be excited about thinking about the next time you will be reunited. Get a life in the absence of your relationship. You don't have to be lonely and bored with out your boyfriend there. Take up a hobby, learn something new and make friends (I suggest the same sex). It will be fun to show and tell your boyfriend what you have accomplished since he left.

Above all else, the single most important thing for my ld relationship was our faith in God to see us through the tough times. There is always hope when there is God and we both have looked to him for strength.

Jacquie

The most important thing that my boyfriend and I do to stay close emotionally in our long distance relationship is tell each other how we feel. We are constantly saying "I love you" and "you're so beautiful" to each other, and it really helps.

Another thing that keeps us together is trust. Trust is very
important in any relationship, but especially in a long distance one.

Since we are so far away, we spend as much time together as we can. A problem that arose in our relationship is that we don't always have as much time as we want to spend together. Also, it sometimes seems that whenever I'm free, he's
busy and whenever he's free, I'm busy. It is hard, but through love and dedication, we have strengthened our relationship.

I would advise anyone that is starting a long distance relationship to make sure they are ready for the challenge of keeping a long distance relationship strong. It takes work and
dedication, even more so than a regular relationship does. But if you are both really in love and are dedicated to each other, you should be able to do it.

Remember it takes work, passion, and lots of cuddle over the phone time! Don't give up if problems arise. The two of you can overcome them, as long as you have the love and dedication.

Anonymous

If you would like to send in advice on how to have a succesful long distance relationship. Please send us an e-mail and we will add it to the website. What do you do to stay close emotionally when you are so far away from each other physically?

Phone calls, e-mails, snail mails (effective but slow), surprises (gifts, cards), saying "I miss you" Or "I love you" when he is least expected in the middle of the conversation. Communicate more.......talk, talk, talk.

What are some of the problems you have encountered in being in a long distance relationship? How have you overcome them?

Being lonely most of the times, insecure, hard to keep track about your partner's whereabouts, You're not able to share your partner's ups & downs and the sad thing is, you might be the last one to know.

Very expensive especially for those who're thousand miles separated.

Overcome.....??? Be deeply in love and learned to trust each other. You'll be surprised coz LOVE itself is the best remedy.

What advice would you give to your best friend if he or she was about to enter a long distance relationship.

THINK TWICE OR OVER AND OVER AGAIN BEFORE YOU WANT TO COMMIT......it's not an easy task.... you'll most probably end up crying yourself to sleep every night coz you'll miss him/she sooooooooooo MUCH and it's unbearable and it hurts and you might want to give up before you even enjoy each other company in the long run.

Anonymous

Copyright © 2001 by The National Long Distance Relationship Building Institute. All Rights Reserved.

Advice From People In Long Distance Relationships
Long Distance Couples Home Page	20 Activities that Long Distance Couples can do from a Distance
What do you do to stay close emotionally when you are so far away from each other physically? We talk on the phone every day and share the happenings of that day, discussing reactions to and decisions made about events as they occur and supporting each other verbally. We also share week-long plans that contribute to feeling part of each other's life. Messages are also exchanged to and from those people known to us on the different continents. E mails communicate immediate thoughts, and I send unexpected, relevant and meaningful gifts. He sends me flowers - beautiful flowers (to my office). I also make and send tapes of music that "speak" and support my feelings. It's important to reminisce and remember special, happy and specific times when you were together - it creates a bond and cements feelings. I'm learning to play Bridge because he plays (well) so he helps me with my homework and supports my learning. I support and encourage his Karate, Sailing and Marathon running activities. What are some of the problems you have encountered in being in a long distance relationship? How have you overcome them? The most difficult part for me is being apart over long Bank Holiday weekends when, traditionally, family and friends gather together to enjoy quality time. Alone, I fill my time by keeping busy - maintaining the house, gardening, sewing, swimming, theater - but missed opportunity inevitably creeps all over me as the "lonesome" feeling one gets at not being able to share what could have been a highly enjoyable and relaxing weekend kicks in. This makes one more conscious of time, and to value it more highly whenever you're together - every day is a gift and it's important to enjoy the moment. For a long distance relationship to survive there has to be trust - in bucketfulls. There are times when one of us is not able to reach the other on the telephone and, when voice mail kicks in when you expect the phone to be answered, it is possible to wonder where and with whom the recipient of your affections is. On a bad day, it is possible for paranoia to set in but if you ultimately trust one another these feelings should not escalate. What advice would you give to your best friend if he or she was about to enter a long distance relationship. I would ask her (or him) why they were contemplating doing such a thing and make a judgement on their reply before giving my view. There are many reasons why people opt for, or find themselves in, LDRs but for them to remain successful there has to be chemistry and both individuals must want it to work. Having a LDR is less of a commitment (or conversely more!) so it is important that both parties are reasonably independent, wellorganized, have their own circle of friends and hobbies and exercise PMA (positive mental attitude). If too many pieces of the puzzle don't fit, however, move on and don't give yourself a hard time. Ultimately, if your inner voice tells you it's worth maintaining and fighting for because you've found something special, nurture it and make it a reality - the best things are always hard fought. Best regards Gillian	What do you do to stay close emotionally when you are so far away from each other physically? I put his pictures in frames and place them near my bed where I could see so he's the last person I see before I turn in and the first person I see when I start the day. We write and send cards every week, usually with recent photos. We answer "all" of each other's e-mails and electronic greeting cards. I made a journal and write him whenever I feel like telling him what I feel but just couldn't call him. He calls me twice a week, especially on our anniversary date (monthly) and we give updates on each other and talk about sweet things.We chat online whenever possible. What are some of the problems you have encountered in being in a long distance relationship? How have you overcome them? Problem: We wanted to talk for hours but it's expensive and impractical. Solution: We used other means of communication, like e-mail and chat. Problem: Time difference between USA and Philippines Solution: We set a convenient time (for both of us) to talk. Problem: He has no mobile phone. Solution: He gave me all the home numbers I could call and leave messages for him, and he always returns my calls. Problem: Lack of physical ways to show love and affection. Solution: We would describe our thoughts in words and tell each other. What advice would you give to your best friend if he or she was about to enter a long distance relationship. First of all, she should know what she's getting into because it's not an easy thing to be in a long-distance relationship. It takes a lot of patience, understanding and trust. However, it can also be a gauge to your true feelings for each other, especially if you had been used to being around each other all the time. If it lasts and the feeling continues to grow, then it's true love. But if it becomes "out of sight, out of mind," then it's only infatuation. Long-distance relationships can make you, or break you. Maria
What do you do to stay close emotionally when you are so far away from each other physically? We comment on how special each other is and what we would do for each other if we were together. Plan a perfect romantic dinner and tell her the things I love about her. Let her into my life and share my emotions, the bad times and good times. Anything that will bring us more emotionally together, open your heart to her and be honest. What are some of the problems you have encountered in being in a lon distance relationship? How have you overcome them? The feeling on having to be perfect because if someone gets mad you can't just drive down and fix it face to face but you have to talk it over and have a clear communication. We love each other because of who we are. The love is strong because the communication is strong. If she doubts or has any questions about our relationship, she knows to ask, if not, it will affect our relationship. (same with me) We find that we have an advantage over the regular kind of relationships, we talk and we practice trust. The physical part doesn't hold us together but it's the communication. What advice would you give to your best friend if he or she was about to enter a long distance relationship. Be careful, be sure to know who he/she is and be patient. No cybersex because it won't be real, it'll only be a fantasy. Be honest and expect that it might not work. Andy	What do you do to stay close emotionally when you are so far away from each other physically? Send pictures, care packages, cards, letters, unexpected surprises, and daily phone calls. Keeping connected with communication is a key part to staying emotionally connected. What are some of the problems you hav encountered in being in a long distance relationship? How have you overcome them? He didn't call/write/ send anything for our two year (dating) anniversary. And he hadn't been keeping in touch like he used to. I had to tell him that I didn't feel like he was doing him part and putting in the effort that I deserved. He agreed and now tries to call every day. Also, my boyfriend went in to the Marine Corp and it was hard to get used to military life and understand what he talks about. I learned as much as I could about the Marine Corp and ask him questions about his job so I still feel connected. Also, some people discouraged us in staying together, saying that it was hopeless to pursue a relationship that would eventually end. It was tough to choke that stuff down, but only you know if you are going to be able to handle a ldr, so we didn't listen to them.. and we have been in a ldr for a year now. What advice would you give to your best friend if he or she was about to enter a long distance relationship. It takes a lot more work than a normal relationship. It will test your love (not the feelings of love, but the commitment of love) for each other. You need a lot of trust, commitment, and faith in each other. Choose your fights. Since you are long distance it isn't a good idea to argue about the stupid things. Don't wine about how much you miss each other, be excited about thinking about the next time you will be reunited. Get a life in the absence of your relationship. You don't have to be lonely and bored with out your boyfriend there. Take up a hobby, learn something new and make friends (I suggest the same sex). It will be fun to show and tell your boyfriend what you have accomplished since he left. Above all else, the single most important thing for my ld relationship was our faith in God to see us through the tough times. There is always hope when there is God and we both have looked to him for strength. Jacquie
The most important thing that my boyfriend and I do to stay close emotionally in our long distance relationship is tell each other how we feel. We are constantly saying "I love you" and "you're so beautiful" to each other, and it really helps. Another thing that keeps us together is trust. Trust is very important in any relationship, but especially in a long distance one. Since we are so far away, we spend as much time together as we can. A problem that arose in our relationship is that we don't always have as much time as we want to spend together. Also, it sometimes seems that whenever I'm free, he's busy and whenever he's free, I'm busy. It is hard, but through love and dedication, we have strengthened our relationship. I would advise anyone that is starting a long distance relationship to make sure they are ready for the challenge of keeping a long distance relationship strong. It takes work and dedication, even more so than a regular relationship does. But if you are both really in love and are dedicated to each other, you should be able to do it. Remember it takes work, passion, and lots of cuddle over the phone time! Don't give up if problems arise. The two of you can overcome them, as long as you have the love and dedication. Anonymous If you would like to send in advice on how to have a succesful long distance relationship. Please send us an e-mail and we will add it to the website.	What do you do to stay close emotionally when you are so far away from each other physically? Phone calls, e-mails, snail mails (effective but slow), surprises (gifts, cards), saying "I miss you" Or "I love you" when he is least expected in the middle of the conversation. Communicate more.......talk, talk, talk. What are some of the problems you have encountered in being in a long distance relationship? How have you overcome them? Being lonely most of the times, insecure, hard to keep track about your partner's whereabouts, You're not able to share your partner's ups & downs and the sad thing is, you might be the last one to know. Very expensive especially for those who're thousand miles separated. Overcome.....??? Be deeply in love and learned to trust each other. You'll be surprised coz LOVE itself is the best remedy. What advice would you give to your best friend if he or she was about to enter a long distance relationship. THINK TWICE OR OVER AND OVER AGAIN BEFORE YOU WANT TO COMMIT......it's not an easy task.... you'll most probably end up crying yourself to sleep every night coz you'll miss him/she sooooooooooo MUCH and it's unbearable and it hurts and you might want to give up before you even enjoy each other company in the long run. Anonymous

Copyright © 2001 by The National Long Distance Relationship Building Institute. All Rights Reserved.